OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
