That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
