I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
