idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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