is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
