I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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