She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
