yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
