i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
