I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk is not a location!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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