Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
