So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
