Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Randomize
