so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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