you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
