return my video game
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
