I wish life had little blips of pornography
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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