the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
