So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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