bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
