I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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