Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
