anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
