Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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