where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
