Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
