hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
