Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
