Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
