Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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