remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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