yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
