Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
