shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
