you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
