After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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