so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
