Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
