You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
