that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
