Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
