shes about as inviting as chlamydia
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
