I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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