at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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