walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
