i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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