Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
