I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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