You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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