no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do herpes really smell.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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