you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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